He Chose to Suffer to Enable Our Joy – We Must Suffer to Understand WHY
Since returning from that emotional state three years ago, there has been ONE PRINCIPLE OF KNOWLEDGE that I’ve felt perpetually compelled to share. But as much as I’ve tried, I’ve never been able to find the adequate balance of words. In truth, I’ve spent several months working on this episode. I’ve had all other parts completed for weeks. But of the 20 plus different endings I’ve attempted, not one comes near to articulating what is needed. What’s produced ends up being either the scolding of a soft generation or a patronizing piece of crap. Neither of which capture the productive value of suffering.
And then, middle of the night Saturday to Sunday, I woke up with the answer. And guess what…it’s gonna need its own episode. But… funny thing…the source of inspiration is a talk called “Happy and Forever…” which seems kinda contradictory to the suffering is divine theme I’m going with, yet oddly complimentary to my use of mythical motifs. The talk was given to a worldwide audience last October by Elder Gerrit W. Gong, one of the general leaders in my faith, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Here’s the first three paragraphs of his talk just to get you ready for what I tackle next.
Friends, dear brothers and sisters, do you remember believing, or wanting to believe in happily ever after?
Then life happens. We “grow up.” Relationships get complicated. This world is noisy, crowded, pushy, with pretense and posturing. Yet, in our “deep hearts core,” we believe, or want to believe, somewhere, somehow, happy and forever are real and possible.
“Happy and forever” are not the imaginary stuff of fairy tales. True, enduring joy and eternity with those we love are the very essence of God’s plan of happiness. His lovingly prepared way can make our eternal journey happy and forever.
One might think my initial reaction to such rhetoric would be – “Oh Man, where do I start on this piece of cotton candy.” But instead I’m going to shift a bit and introduce you to my Elders Quorom. I attend church in Greenville, Texas about 50 miles East of Dallas. The Greenville Ward makes up the eastern border of the stake and encompasses most, if not all, of Hunt County, Texas. I bring this up because our congregation includes people from all different backgrounds. Which brings in a variety of different viewpoints. From those who have worked in agriculture their entire lives, to newly arrived naive city folk starting to populate the western portion of the county, there are a variety of personalities and viewpoints. And I love it.
So about a month ago our elders quorum (a
Mens Sunday School class) discussed Elder Gong’s talk Happy and Forever. We have a good instructor, Kent Montgomery , and he was leading the discussion. And because I can’t reference everybody who made commentary, I’ll give Kent the nod for everybody’s contribution. So Kent, in starting the lesson, pointed out that Elder Gong lists 5 important principles that are reinforced by the scriptures and personal experiences of forgiveness and peace.
They are:
- A. First – A promise that through the resurrection enabled by Jesus Christ, our bodies and spirits will one day be united perfectly, never to be divided again, so that in that form we might receive a fulness of Joy.
B. Kent pointed out that this is not our current state and asked what would lead to this difference in form. One brother pointed out death would be necessary before resurrection could take place. Another pointed out that we’d need to learn to make better choices to achieve a fulness of joy. I offered up building on these two brother’s comments, that CHANGE is a good summation, that change from our current state in a meaningful and productive manner is what is needed to achieve our goal. As part of this I threw in that experiencing conflict (conflict as I’ve meant it in this project – like something that offers resistance) – that experiencing conflict expedites the process for enacting change.
The reaction to the comment was mixed. Despite clarifying what I meant by conflict, people still had a hard time separating from what they usually understand conflict to mean, as contention or fighting. And a mixed reaction is the norm to most of my comments anyway so this particular reaction wasn’t anything out of the ordinary.
- A. The Atonement – Jesus Christ’s atonement enabled us to improve ourselves as we operate faith and repentance with a hope that we might obtain the mercy and forgiveness provided by the atonement.
B. The group engaged in the discussion here as expected. atonement is what enables us to change from our current form to the desired resurrected form mentioned by Elder Gong.
- A. God Knows Us Perfectly
- B. Elder Gong’s implication was that this perfect knowledge enables God to operate perfectly as our judge. Tailoring mercy and justice to each individual as is deserved. The discussion amongst the brothers was essentially what Elder Gong highlighted – that Christ will be perfect as our judge.
C. This is where my mind started to see things a little bit differently. Not that what Elder Gong or our group said was wrong, but because they overlooked a particular aspect of God’s Perfect knowledge of us.
- A. Serving Others – Elder Gong Points out that both giver and receiver of service are sanctified in the process.
B. Again, the conversation followed the anticipated path. Service is necessary for our own welfare as we work for the salvation of others.
C. At this point my mind is turning…quite a bit more. Because I am not one to easily experience joy, or even talk about for that matter. BUT there is a particular type of work that if performed for the welfare of someone else brings meaning to my life…and undeniable joy.
- A. What Elder Gong refers to as “A symmetry in Repentance and Forgiveness” – seeking forgiveness for ourselves for our faults and forgiving others of theirs. He discusses that forgiveness is often not an easy principle and commonly takes time to achieve.
B. One brother here spoke about a conflict that currently existed between his siblings. He spoke of both siblings, how he knew that they were good people, but that this argument was representative of problems these two individuals were commonly involved with in several circumstances. That if they were only able to resolve this particular problem with each other they would be well on their way to figuring out how to resolve most of their other life problems.
And it was here that the concept solidified in my mind enough to the point I raised my hand.
So what comes out of my mouth in these scenarios is rarely ever what has formed in my head. Not because the reasoning isn’t sound, but because my mouth can’t keep up with my brain. What ends up coming out is usually a set of vaguely connectable ideas that are more confusing than clear. So I usually prefer to keep my verbal comments to tying bite size concepts together. This comment was not bite sized.
I started off by stumbling into the old cart before the horse euphemism. What I actually said was – I think sometimes we get into that ol’ cart before the carriage….I mean…the horse…cart before the horse mentality. Starting out real smooth, especially using a horse euphemism in a room where many people have horses…but I couldn’t just turn back now that I’d thrown the cart out there.
So I proceeded to say a condensed version of something like the following:
It seems that if we were to change the sequencing of these points, the message of Elder Gong’s is far deeper. Instead of looking at this from our viewpoint, what if we were to look at it from God’s – or at least assuming that we believe that God is all knowledgeable and all powerful and that He thought this whole thing out before we got down here on earth.
The first premise is correct in that it states the whole plan. We, God’s children, exist in an incomplete state. His goal is to eventually move us into a different state – a resurrected, fullness of joy, state. In short, POINT A is the state we started at – and POINT B is the state He wants us to be. The question God might ask Himself would be, HOW do I most effectively and efficiently get my children from A to B. How do I get them to CHANGE?
The second principle sequentially should be that God Knows Us Perfectly. Placing this point here emphasizes our belief that God had a foreknowledge of us when we started at point A, that to some extent HE prepared specific earthly conditions for us individually, that he continues to intervene in our lives as needed, and that He will continue to intervene as progression requires and our choices permit until we reach the desired point B.
The third principle is the Atonement – The Atonement is central to the plan – hence it sits in the middle of the sequence. Because the plan’s essential agent, CHANGE, can’t be brought about without conflict. For example, Adam and Eve couldn’t have CHANGED into mortals without conflict. Likewise, Christ couldn’t have overcome death if he never died in the first place. Conflict is essential to enable CHANGE. Mistakes are inherent to Conflict. Therefore, mistakes are necessary if one wants to change. The problem being, to become a Resurrected Individual with a Fulness of Joy you must have NO mistakes. So…yeah…that’s a problem. As a result, God, in his foresight, planned, prepared and provided the Atonement, knowing it was necessary to resolve the CHANGE>MISTAKE>PERFECTION paradox.
The fourth principle is forgiveness.
If God knew us perfectly in the preexistence, and also knew what conflicts could optimize our CHANGE, Wouldn’t it make sense that he tailor our conflicts on earth to optimize the CHANGE we each needed personally. That it very well may be that the things that we most struggle with are the exact training programs we need to optimize change. That siblings argue because they need that conflict to best learn how to overcome it. That a person with chronic depression might think WHY GOD WHY but in reality should be thinking, “Perfect. This is exactly where he wants me to be. Now I just need to figure out what I don’t know that He wants me to learn.
Now, innate with optimal conflicts will come a need for resolution. A need for those who are assigned the role of conflict maker to be forgiven. To be forgiven by those who needed the conflict to optimize their change. An example, my parents, Lowell and Ellen, took on the role of raising me – or in other words, helping me through the process of changing from a newborn baby to a young man that could convince a girl that she might want to take me off of their hands. But you better believe the process of parenting that CHANGE out of me caused them to frequently crack, to freak out, to throw hairbrushes, and to mumble frustrated nonsense in place of swear words. Things which would require forgiveness, my forgiveness. So that God may very well have pulled us all aside before mortality and said something to the effect of, “You have no idea what a pain in the butt it is going to be to get you from Point A to Point B. I’ve got a whole village of your brothers and sisters who have agreed to sacrifice their innocence so that they can blow off the frustration that is required to help CHANGE you. So…you’d best figure out how to forgive real fast.
And this makes sense because the Atonement, a principle already part of this plan, is God granting us forgiveness. And to personally understand how that process works, how the process cleanses one from their mistakes, an individual would have to understand psychologically how forgiveness works, applying it to a one who had wronged them, to then fully believe that forgiveness could actually work on them. Otherwise, you could tell someone who couldn’t conceive the power of forgiveness that they themselves had been forgiven through the atonement. But in that persons mind they’d be thinking “I’m forgiven. I don’t buy it.” Because to them the concept of forgiveness is impossible. To them, there is no psychological power strong enough to change the past.
So obviously God would be aware that a prerequisite to invoking the forgiveness of the atonement would be that a person must equally understand the mechanics and can operate the machinery of forgiveness before forgiveness can be applied to them.
And this becomes all the more important in the final principle. The principle in which one does WORK for others. Now, you may recall from the prior episode that I discussed work. Uncomfortable work. And that uncomfortable work over time could be referred to as longsuffering – and that it also could be defined as power.
The purpose of work, both in physics and spiritual matters, is to enact change. In physics work is only accomplished if the object acted upon is displaced – or moved. The same principle applies to WORK done by service. The desire is to help another change by sacrificing your own energy. In a sense, it is a miniature representation of the Atonement. One individual sacrificing themself to act change upon another. But as humans, we often underestimate the action of service. Service is often viewed as merely a temporal process – a checklist process. This person needed their lawn mowed and I did it for them. This person needs saving ordinances, so I did temple work for them. Check Check Check. And as much as the temporal checklists are good, there is a greater purpose in service. And it encompasses more acts than we think that it does.
As example, the service of parents raising a child. A work that requires parents, as imperfect beings, to sacrifice their innocence to bring about a temporal and spiritual change in their child over time.
Now, the spiritual aspect of service is not so obvious as a nicely manicured lawn or a checkmark for baptism. But, there is an implicit factor to Service that has much more potential to enact change.
Service Inspires.
It inspires CHANGE. Elder Gong states that – in service both giver and receiver are sanctified in the process. Inspiration and sanctification. These are obscure concepts in comparison to a mowed lawn and a baptism checkmark. But therein lies the duality of service – temporal action that impacts spiritual power. An act
performed on a lower dimension that acts upon the material of a higher dimension. A miniature atonement.
Because God doesn’t look at the Atonement as simply a mistake fixer (which it is.) But he sees the Atonement as a Change Maker. Because it doesn’t just make it possible for us to repent, but the Atonement also changes intelligent beings. For example – the Atonement changed Jehovah into a full fledged Infinite and Eternal Being. What father wouldn’t be well pleased and fully glorified if their son or daughter accomplished that?
And Jesus, despite advancing all glory to His Father, Jesus earns himself the most meaningful and most gratifying skill of all. And that is – He inspires change in others…infinitely.
Now that may confuse you. How is the ability to inspire the most meaningful most gratifying skill.
Well…why has mankind always gravitated towards hero stories.
It’s, for sure, complicated. But think about it this way – of anyone who has lived, is living, or will live on earth, save Jesus, WHO could inspire you, comfort you, and provide you with hope more than anyone else as you faced your life’s greatest challenges. The answer…your future self. You, after you’ve experienced your entire life, the good and the bad, the joy and the sorrow. You after you’ve earned the right, yourself, to say “It is Finished.”
Let’s call that person DELTAYOU, meaning you changed
What’s strange about this is that if DELTAYOU COULD walk you through life, as much as they could comfort you, you would comfort them more. Because the comfort you provide DELTAYOU is in the form of fulfillment – meaningfulness. Every moment of DELTAYOU’s previous life experience now becomes relevant as knowledge to bless a person who has yet to obtain that knowledge. Someone who is weak but who has great potential. And most of all, someone who DELTAYOU loves more than him or herself.
In a sense, DELTAYOU is like a parent figure here who watches their own child suffer. What parent does not wish that they could take their own child’s suffering from them. What parent doesn’t love their child more than themselves to the point that, if placed in the situation, they would choose to be tortured themselves to prevent their child from being tortured.
However, DELTAYOU, greater than any earthly parent, has the perspective of the NEED for your trials, your challenges, your sufferings as those conflicts actuate your Point B potential.
Because DELTAYOU knows you perfectly, they are perfectly aware of the importance of each and every event of your life, AS IF it was a path that was created by SOME PERSON WHO KNEW YOU PERFECTLY – with the intent to guide you, SPECIFICALLY YOU, from Point A to Point B.
Now imagine DELTAYOU’s perspective as your guide. SUDDENLY, the things that were the worst aspects of their life, the longsufferings that made them cry out Why God, Why… those moments become the times in their life that they most value. No one else could understand your UNIQUE suffering. DELTAYOU, upon watching YOU suffer, realizes that the purpose of their own WHY GOD WHY events were to train them to perfectly assist you in your UNIQUE suffering.
That’s a parents dream…to have a perfect knowledge that their child’s pain has purpose. That as they guide their child through life that their parental choices aren’t screwing their child up, but are productively building their Point B character.
So DELTAYOU, the future you, is fulfilled by watching your growth. Your experiences give their entire life meaning.
Yet, as fulfilling as that would be, still, DELTAYOU knows that it is NOT the most impactful aspect of their presence. Because DELTAYOU, more importantly, changes YOUR perspective of YOUR suffering. Suddenly your suffering is no longer just a hindrance to your current existence, but instead, your suffering becomes the very thing by which you activate the character of that future self within you. DELTAYOU, that future you, leverages your perspective. Much like the way a younger sibling is motivated by an older sibling’s accomplishments. The older sibling will often push themselves to do what they wouldn’t do otherwise so that their younger sibling might be inspired to accomplish even greater things. That is what enacts DELTAYOU’s joy. That the hardest parts of DELTA’s life experience inspired their little sibling. So that what was previously only pain now converts to the equivalent value of love and pride they have for their younger brother or sister. To the point that you could ask DELTAYOU “Was I worth your pain.” To which DELTA could honestly reply “Yes…my pain is now my greatest treasure. Because YOU made purpose of my pain.”
That is the inspiration that DELTAYOU understands makes their existence most powerful.
To me – THAT is what is meant when God speaks of JOY. When our suffering becomes meaningful and inspiring to someone else. DELTAYOU, that future you, their joy comes by knowledge that every moment of their previous life experience is now meaningful, and made so only because of you.
Now ponder for a bit…WHO IS DELTAYOU… is that person not your individual HERO. You…Perfected …through all your life experience.
Now Elder Gong’s point is essentially that everything has been laid out with the intent to make you a Point B individual – Happy and Forever. And that central to that path is DELTAYOU – Yes DELTAYOU is real. In fact not only is DELTAYOU the equivalent of you at Point B, but DELTAYOU is the Collective POINT B of us all.
Jesus Christ – an infinite and eternal atonement…the collective DELTAYOU of each and every one of us. He represents ourselves, our future selves, what we would like to be. And, oddly, he is grateful to us. Because our experiences make him complete, perfect his character, make purpose of His pain. We are a genuine part of Him as He is a genuine part of us. Our Hero Archetype.
He Chose To Suffer
To Enable Our Joy.
We Must Suffer
To Understand Why
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