As my allotted time to speak did not allow for me to cover all prepared material, the written portion includes several ideas not addressed in the audio.
I recently had a conversation with my younger brother, he a pediatrician, I a pediatric dentist, about COVID, masks, vaccines, mandates, mental health, social history, and freewill. After about 45 minutes of constructive conflict, a realization was made – our opinions on these matters were very closely aligned. Why it took us 45 minutes to realize this congruence was the manner of our approach. We engaged in a discussion of ABSOLUTES – the easiest and least intelligent form of discussion, a discussion filled with factful fallacies, the same type of conversation that many, if not all of us have been engaged in over the past year and a half.
Following this realization, we spent the rest of the evening discussing our worldviews, both enlightening each other with the realistic physical and mental health situations that we’d each encountered with our patients.
I would like to share a couple of short examples of the limiting perspective we struggle with today in our society and our church culture. The lead example is actually the first half of a true story…a minuscule event that branded one individual’s memory for a lifetime. The other three are short scriptural examples showing the detriment of limiting perspective.
One January evening during the mid-eighties a group of women met in their local chapel in Salt Lake City to hear the inspiring words of a few speakers. One speaker, a woman in her 30’s, told of how her toddler, choking on a coin, was saved by an older sibling who performed the necessary maneuver to expel the object. She told the audience how blessed she was that God loved her and her toddler enough to deliver them from such potential horrors.
At that moment, from a pew in the back of the chapel a soft yet audible whimper began. As the speaker continued to express her rightful gratitude the whimper from the back grew into open sobbing. From that back pew, a sister, about the same age as the speaker, stood up. This woman walked briskly out of the chapel, into the foyer, and out of the building. Anguished, that distraught sister walked home alone in the dark cold night. The entire way home she cried tears of sadness and anger. She was unable to reconcile God as a Father of Love. Such a loving character as spoken of by the speaker could not be the same Being who was tormenting her so precisely.
Scripture Character 1 – Satan (Moses Chapter 4 verses 1, 3-6)
1 And I, the Lord God, spake unto Moses, saying: That Satan, whom thou hast commanded in the name of mine Only Begotten, is the same which was from the beginning, and he came before me, saying—Behold, here am I, send me, I will be thy son, and I will redeem all mankind, that one soul shall not be lost, and surely I will do it; wherefore give me thine honor.
3 Wherefore, because that Satan rebelled against me, and sought to destroy the agencyof man, which I, the Lord God, had given him, and also, that I should give unto him mine own power; by the power of mine Only Begotten, I caused that he should be cast down;
Scripture Character 2 – King Solomon (1 Kings 3:23-28)
23 Then said the king, The one saith, This is my son that liveth, and thy son is the dead: and the other saith, Nay; but thy son is the dead, and my son is the living.
24 And the king said, Bring me a sword. And they brought a sword before the king.
25 And the king said, Divide the living child in two, and give half to the one, and half to the other.
26 Then spake the woman whose the living child was unto the king, for her bowels yearned upon her son, and she said, O my lord, give her the living child, and in no wise slay it. But the other said, Let it be neither mine nor thine, but divide it.
27 Then the king answered and said, Give her the living child, and in no wise slay it: she is the mother thereof.
28 And all Israel heard of the judgment which the king had judged; and they feared the king: for they saw that the wisdom of God was in him, to do judgment.
Scripture Character 3 – Jesus Christ (Matt 21:23-27)
23 And when he was come into the temple, the chief priests and the elders of the people came unto him as he was teaching, and said, By what authority doest thou these things? and who gave thee this authority?
24 And Jesus answered and said unto them, I also will ask you one thing, which if ye tell me, I in like wise will tell you by what authority I do these things.
25 The baptism of John, whence was it? from heaven, or of men? And they reasoned with themselves, saying, If we shall say, From heaven; he will say unto us, Why did ye not then believe him?
26 But if we shall say, Of men; we fear the people; for all hold John as a prophet.
27 And they answered Jesus, and said, We cannot tell. And he said unto them, Neither tell I you by what authority I do these things.
Realism –
- The attitude or practice of accepting a situation as it is and being prepared to deal with it accordingly.
- The quality or fact of representing a person, thing, or situation accurately or in a way that is true to life.
Absolutism –
- In Government – AUTOCRACY – a system of government in which supreme power over a state is concentrated in the hands of one person, whose decisions are subject to neither external legal restraints nor regularized mechanisms of popular control.
- In Ethics – MORAL ABSOLUTISM – the belief in absolute standards against which moral questions can be judged, regardless of context
- In Psychology – SPLITTING – the failure in a person’s thinking to bring together the dichotomy of both positive and negative qualities of the self and others into a cohesive, realistic whole. It is a common defense mechanism. The individual tends to think in extremes. All or nothing…Black and White
Semantics – the Meaning of Words
Twisting of Semantics – A Devil’s Device of Subtlety
Moses Chapter 4
4 And he became Satan, yea, even the devil, the father of all lies to deceive and to blind men, and to lead them captive at his will, even as many as would not hearken unto my voice.
5 And now the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field which I, the Lord God, had made
.6 And Satan put it into the heart of the serpent, (for he had drawn away many after him,) and he sought also to beguile Eve, for he knew not the mind of God, wherefore he sought to destroy the world.
Alma Chapter 12
3 Now Zeezrom, seeing that thou hast been taken in thy lying and craftiness, for thou hast not lied unto men only but thou hast lied unto God; for behold, he knows all thy thoughts, and thou seest that thy thoughts are made known unto us by his Spirit;
4 And thou seest that we know that thy plan was a very subtle plan, as to the subtlety of the devil, for to lie and to deceive this people that thou mightest set them against us, to revile us and to cast us out—
5 Now this was a plan of thine adversary, and he hath exercised his power in thee. Now I would that ye should remember that what I say unto thee I say unto all.
6 And behold I say unto you all that this was a snare of the adversary, which he has laid to catch this people, that he might bring you into subjection unto him, that he might encircle you about with his chains, that he might chain you down to everlasting destruction, according to the power of his captivity.
To preserve such subtlety Satan eliminates information, retracts the relevant, censors the consequential. Mankind endeavors to do the same when speaking in absolutes. To do so falls underneath the category of bearing false witness. The early latter-day saints were well acquainted with the power of subtle misinformation as it was precisely operated by those who drove them out of Missouri. Wisely, the Prophet, Joseph Smith, recognizing that the bulk damage of deception falls upon the next generation, declared it imperative that we expose “hidden things of darkness.”
Section 123 Doctrine & Covenants
11 And also it is an imperative duty that we owe to all the rising generation, and to all the pure in heart—
12 For there are many yet on the earth among all sects, parties, and denominations, who are blinded by the subtle craftiness of men, whereby they lie in wait to deceive and who are only kept from the truth because they know not where to find it—
13 Therefore, that we should waste and wear out our lives in bringing to light all the hidden things of darkness, wherein we know them; and they are truly manifest from heaven
14 These should then be attended to with great earnestness.
15 Let no man count them as small things; for there is much which lieth in futurity, pertaining to the saints, which depends upon these things.
The rising generation, or our children, are those who have the most to lose from a world of absolutism. Consider watching the movie Jo Jo Rabbit to get a perspective on how absolutism has affected children in times past.
In more recent history, since its inception the Russian Communist Party has used PRAVDA for the name of it’s official party newspaper. PRAVDA in Russian means Truth or Justice, depending on its use. During such a time and place as early 20th century Russia, one could conceive how such subtle tactics of a newspaper’s name could then link ideas of truth and justice with the simple steps of community, equity, greater good, control, deception.
A current day twist of semantics is the ambiguous line being created between the words LOVE and KINDNESS.
C.S. Lewis:
“By Love, in this context, most of us mean kindness—the desire to see others than the self happy; not happy in this way or in that, but just happy. What would really satisfy us would be a God who said of anything we happened to like doing, ‘What does it matter so long as they are contented?’ We want, in fact, not so much a Father in Heaven as a grandfather in heaven—a senile benevolence who, as they say, ‘liked to see young people enjoying themselves,’ and whose plan for the universe was simply that it might be truly said at the end of each day, ‘a good time was had by all’. Not many people, I admit, would formulate a theology in precisely those terms: but a conception not very different lurks at the back of many minds.”
C. S. Lewis:
“There is kindness in Love; but Love and kindness are not coterminous, and when kindness is separated from the other elements of Love, it involves a certain fundamental indifference to its object, and even something like contempt of it.”
This last statement by Lewis is an excellent description of the passive-aggressive manner that exists in our culture. A manner which is imperceptibly subtle to those of the culture. But is glaringly obvious to those without – as in this short story:
A customer to a music shop in Salt Lake City told of being helped by a highly qualified staff member. Their conversation was interrupted by the pounding of a piano by two young kids. The staff member turned around and approached the children, bluntly informing them that the $100,000 instruments were not to be touched. His thick New York accent implied he was not native to the Utah atmosphere.
In returning to the conversation with the customer the staff member relayed that he was likely to be fired. The reason: people in Utah, on average, did not appreciate his customary New York candor. He told the customer that such directness is just the way things operate where he is from and no one gets offended.
He then chuckled a bit and said it was strange to him how things worked differently in Utah. People are very kind to your face…but they have no problem speaking poorly of you when you are not present.
The customer told the staff member how unfortunate he felt for him.
Later, in relaying the story to others, the customer jokingly stated. I’ve not seen him working there anymore. I assume he’s been fired…But that’s alright…I didn’t really like him that much, anyway.
What this story shows us is that some believe that avoiding conflict qualifies as KINDNESS. And true as that definition may be, such kindness is far, far removed from LOVE as defined by Christ.
True Love Has Expectations, Demands Responsibility and Accountability
See if you can follow this notion through the following scriptures:
John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
John 14:15 – If you love me, keep my commandments
John 15
9 As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love.
10 IF ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in his love.
11 These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy MIGHT remain in you, and that your joy might be full.
12 This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.
13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
14 Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.
Mark 10:21 Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me.
Christ demanded COMMITMENT, FRIENDSHIP, and SACRIFICE. Did he do so out of KINDNESS or LOVE?
John 8 –
7 So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.
8 And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.
9 And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.
10 When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?
11 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.
(Is this not the equivalent of saying “DO NOT DO IT AGAIN!!!”)
Victor Frankl – Author, psychiatrist, neurologist, holocaust survivor
“Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless he loves him. By his love he is enabled to see the essential traits and features in the beloved person; and even more, he sees that which is potential in him, which is not yet actualized but yet ought to be actualized. Furthermore, by his love, the loving person enables the beloved person to actualize these potentialities. By making him aware of what he can be and of what he should become, he makes these potentialities come true.
Viktor Frankl – Man’s Search for Meaning
By Frankl’s notion, and Christ’s instruction, LOVE has far more to do with promoting potential than appeasing to comfort. Such a thought may have enlightened the sobbing woman walking home in the cold and the dark, all alone.
That woman was my mother
At the time, she was only several weeks removed from the loss of her one year old daughter, my younger sister, who had choked on a peanut and died.
My mother learned, in time, that the character of God of which the speaker talked about was not an absolute. God could love a person in one way of potential and another person in a potential just opposite. Because LOVE is not defined by comfort and kindness, she learned to appreciate that God LOVED her enough to build in her a strength one would never gain without the untimely loss of a child.
Because God Loves us, and because we profess to love Him, we have an obligation to do the following:
- Speak Responsibly – when discussing meaningful things, whether social or spiritual, we should speak from a point of educated honesty. We should avoid the empty rhetoric of today’s social media sound bites – what my wife, Lindsay, refers to as an Instagram Education.
- Listen Intently – recognize that people often struggle to express what they really mean. Behind buzzwords and anecdotes is usually an individual that has genuine care. Seeking that care makes for – and this is an important term – Productive Conflict.
- Seek the Spirit of Discernment – this one can be difficult, because the nature of the Spirit is such that we will not all receive the same instruction. Yet why else would it be important for us to individually “HEAR HIM.”
- LOVE COURAGEOUSLY – in addition to kindness, we must exercise expectations and demand responsibility of ourselves and others. Only in this way can our divine potentialities be achieved, both collectively and individually.
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